It's been occurring to me lately: Ministry is extravagant, from anything humanity can actually physically assess. There's nothing we can point to that can prove that ministry is worthwhile. This is on my mind because our church leadership has made a ministry decision that for our little church is somewhat extravagant--from our perspective. Of course, none of us really can measure the eternal good that our actions might take, what enormous fruit that obedience to God might bear. That usually doesn't become apparent in this life, but hopefully in the one to come. Even with this in mind, I've gone back and forth in my opinion about our church leadership's decision; but even indecisive as I am, I tend to think the better decision is the more expensive one.
We all decide what to do with our time, money, belongings, relationships, opportunities of various sorts--sometimes we choose to invest in the present day. Sometimes we save for our own futures. Sometimes we waste our resources in ways that don't bring any return of any beneficial sort. Sometimes we make a sacrifice in faith that God is working in our hearts to accomplish His will. His will has to do with eternal things, with the salvation of souls and with His glory being shown on the earth.
But we can't prove that there is any good in doing what we feel is God's will for us. God doesn't write it on a banner for all to see, what choice He wants us to make for His will; He writes it on our hearts instead. If we choose to justify the investments we make to someone who doesn't share our faith, we have to make temporal decisions that we can point to, or they will be dissatisfied. We can never quantify and justify the outcome of a spiritual sacrifice.
Even having a church, and a pastor, would by secular standards be considered extravagant. We can't even prove that God exists. The benefit may show in our lives, but it can't be quantified, and it can't be proven that knowing God is a true state of things rather than our imagination. We know it, we trust and have hope and faith, but we don't have the words that will convince all humanity that it's valid.
It reminds me of Mary, who poured the bottle of pure nard on Jesus shortly before His crucifixion. The difference was that at that time, she had Jesus physically present, vocally approving her work to those around her who doubted. As a result of her sacrifice, Jesus was pleased and the room was filled with the beautiful perfume of her extravagance, probably for days. And Mary's action has been remembered through these thousands of years from that time.
May choices in my life be so extravagant! May I make decisions that I can't validate to all humanity. May unbelievers wonder at what would motivate the things I do! May it cause them to consider God's worth. May Jesus' approval ring in my heart. I suspect that in eternity I will find that my most sacrificial choices are the only good investments I ever made.
Showing posts with label stewardship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stewardship. Show all posts
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
He Who Supplies Seed for the Sower
Last night I was pondering one of the most encouraging passages, to my thinking, in the Bible. I realized that God has set up something of a pattern in the verses where He tells us why we should do His work. But since I didn't know the reference to the one that started it all, and was too tired to get up off the couch and go to the computer or the concordance, I went through much of the New Testament trying to find it--which was good for me! In the process I found a number of other verses that I was looking for and a few more I'd forgotten--the result being that this post is chock full of Bible verses. And I don't apologize for that--it's the best part.
The favorite that got it all started was this:
Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness; you will be enriched in everything for all liberality, which through us is producing thanksgiving to God. For the ministry of this service is not only fully supplying the needs of the saints, but is also overflowing through many thanksgivings to God. Because of the proof given by this ministry, they will glorify God for your obedience to your confession of the gospel of Christ and for the liberality of your contribution to them and to all, while they also, by prayer on your behalf, yearn for you because of the surpassing grace of God in you. Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! --2 Corinthians 9:10-15
It makes me realize that we have the privilege of clearly being a channel of God's provision, that what we can provide for others and do for His Kingdom is really vast, in spite of the fact that our lives on earth are finite--sort of like how the electricity going through a wire can continue as long as the switch is on. Our service doesn't depend on the size of our bank account, or how much food is in our fridge, or how much gas is in our car; the source is God, not ourselves. Which brings me to the perfect biblical example of this picture:
Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to Him, "There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are these for so many people?" Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." John 6:8
I could go on typing, but I think you know the story, and how it illustrates the verse above. If one boy's little loaves of bread and little bit of fish can feed the five thousand (plus their wives and kids), God is just waiting for the opportunity to show Himself off through us. Not only that, He tells us many times that He wants us to be out and about, doing His will, His work.
Whoever serves is to do so a one who serves in the strength that God supplies... 1 Peter 4:11
Our abundance a supply for their need 2 Corinthians 8:14
But just as you abound in everything, in faith and utterance and knowledge and in all earnestness and in the love we inspired in you, see that you abound in this gracious work also. I am not speaking this as a command, but as proving through the earnestness of others the sincerity of your love also.
For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.
I give my opinion in this matter, for this is to your advantage, who were the first to begin a year ago not only to do this, but also to desire to do it. But now finish doing it also, so that just as there was the readiness to desire it, so there may be also the completion of it by your ability. For if the readiness is present, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. For this is not for the ease of others and for your affliction, but by way of equality--at this present time your abundance being a supply for their need, so that their abundance also may become a supply for your need, that there may be equality; as it is written, "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little had no lack." 2 Corinthians 8:7-15
The pattern I was realizing as I thought about this first verse was that in many cases, God asks us to give because of what we have already received at His hand.
What do you have that you did not receive? 1 Corinthians 4:7b
...bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. ... Colossians 3:13
We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19
Sometimes He isn't stressing what we have already received, but even better, what we have been promised that we will someday receive--maybe even in the here and now as well:
"Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, 'How have we robbed You?' In tithes and offerings. You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing Me, the whole nation of you! "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this," says the LORD of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows. Then I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of the ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes," says the LORD of hosts. "All the nations will call you blessed, for you shall be a delightful land," says the LORD of hosts. Malachi 3:8-12
But I have received everything in full and have an abundance; I am amply supplied, having received from Epaphroditus what you have sent, a fragrant aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well-pleasing to God.
And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:18-19
Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. Colossians 3:23-24
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions." Mark 11:25
Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:6-7
Sometimes it states both reasons--because of what we have received and because of what will be given--which really apply in all cases anyway:
"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return." Luke 6:35-38
When we don't do what God intends, it brings others to have to fill the gap:
Receive him then in the Lord with all joy, and hold men like him in high regard; because he came close to death for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was deficient in your service to me. Philippians 2:29-30
And the utmost reason to be active in His service,
"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' Matthew 25:40
The favorite that got it all started was this:
Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness; you will be enriched in everything for all liberality, which through us is producing thanksgiving to God. For the ministry of this service is not only fully supplying the needs of the saints, but is also overflowing through many thanksgivings to God. Because of the proof given by this ministry, they will glorify God for your obedience to your confession of the gospel of Christ and for the liberality of your contribution to them and to all, while they also, by prayer on your behalf, yearn for you because of the surpassing grace of God in you. Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! --2 Corinthians 9:10-15
It makes me realize that we have the privilege of clearly being a channel of God's provision, that what we can provide for others and do for His Kingdom is really vast, in spite of the fact that our lives on earth are finite--sort of like how the electricity going through a wire can continue as long as the switch is on. Our service doesn't depend on the size of our bank account, or how much food is in our fridge, or how much gas is in our car; the source is God, not ourselves. Which brings me to the perfect biblical example of this picture:
Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to Him, "There is a lad here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are these for so many people?" Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." John 6:8
I could go on typing, but I think you know the story, and how it illustrates the verse above. If one boy's little loaves of bread and little bit of fish can feed the five thousand (plus their wives and kids), God is just waiting for the opportunity to show Himself off through us. Not only that, He tells us many times that He wants us to be out and about, doing His will, His work.
Whoever serves is to do so a one who serves in the strength that God supplies... 1 Peter 4:11
We are capable of providing to others beyond our own capability:
Now, brethren, we wish to make known to you the grace of God which has been given in the churches of Macedonia, that in a great ordeal of affliction their abundance of joy and their deep poverty overflowed in the wealth of their liberality. For I testify that according to their ability, and beyond their ability, they gave of their own accord, begging us with much urging for the favor of participation in the support of the saints, and this, not as we had expected, but they first gave themselves to the Lord and to us by the will of God. 2 Corinthians 8:1-5
Our abundance, even if we have earned it, is a gift from God, not for our own good but for the good of those around us.Our abundance a supply for their need 2 Corinthians 8:14
But just as you abound in everything, in faith and utterance and knowledge and in all earnestness and in the love we inspired in you, see that you abound in this gracious work also. I am not speaking this as a command, but as proving through the earnestness of others the sincerity of your love also.
For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.
I give my opinion in this matter, for this is to your advantage, who were the first to begin a year ago not only to do this, but also to desire to do it. But now finish doing it also, so that just as there was the readiness to desire it, so there may be also the completion of it by your ability. For if the readiness is present, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. For this is not for the ease of others and for your affliction, but by way of equality--at this present time your abundance being a supply for their need, so that their abundance also may become a supply for your need, that there may be equality; as it is written, "He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little had no lack." 2 Corinthians 8:7-15
The pattern I was realizing as I thought about this first verse was that in many cases, God asks us to give because of what we have already received at His hand.
What do you have that you did not receive? 1 Corinthians 4:7b
...bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. ... Colossians 3:13
We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19
Sometimes He isn't stressing what we have already received, but even better, what we have been promised that we will someday receive--maybe even in the here and now as well:
"Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, 'How have we robbed You?' In tithes and offerings. You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing Me, the whole nation of you! "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this," says the LORD of hosts, "if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows. Then I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of the ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes," says the LORD of hosts. "All the nations will call you blessed, for you shall be a delightful land," says the LORD of hosts. Malachi 3:8-12
But I have received everything in full and have an abundance; I am amply supplied, having received from Epaphroditus what you have sent, a fragrant aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well-pleasing to God.
And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:18-19
Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. Colossians 3:23-24
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions." Mark 11:25
Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:6-7
Sometimes it states both reasons--because of what we have received and because of what will be given--which really apply in all cases anyway:
"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return." Luke 6:35-38
When we don't do what God intends, it brings others to have to fill the gap:
Receive him then in the Lord with all joy, and hold men like him in high regard; because he came close to death for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was deficient in your service to me. Philippians 2:29-30
And the utmost reason to be active in His service,
"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' Matthew 25:40
Saturday, August 09, 2008
A Gradual Transformation and a Self-Examination
If you've read much of my other writings about our little church, you may have gathered that it is in a pretty dilapidated state. I haven't fully blogged regarding what its problem is. About 50 years ago, I gather, it burned. The church had no insurance and rebuilt with what they had. Because it wasn't a wealthy church, they built it poorly with cinderblock, unreinforced with any rebar. Over the years the walls have become troubled with moisture leakage, and therefore within the walls, within the cinderblocks, we have mold and mildew. (This doesn't show visibly very much on the walls, but there are places where the odor of it gets kind of strong sometimes, and affects some members of the congregation more strongly than others.)
The congregation has been planning to build, but with some frustration over gaining road access to the beautiful property that one couple kindly gave the church. With plans to build, and a small congregation, there hasn't been much interest, energy or money to maintain the building we have, especially since the structure itself will probably be of no value when we sell; only the property. Still, with no particular building timeline in view, I've been praying for vision and clarification, and working on painting the inside, with help from three others, and we're getting a work party together to fix up some of the outside grout so that the outside also can be pressure-washed and painted.
It seems to me that God's hand has been very strongly favorable toward getting these things done. I've had unusual time, energy, and free paint, even in the right neutral, clean and cheery colors--the neighboring city has a program that recycles paint to avoid having it in the dump. Also, we lived in a 1907 fixer-upper house for 17 years where I learned how to research and repair things; I know and understand some of what old buildings are about and what it is to paint. It has occurred to me, to my delight, that God is using that 17 year experience for His Kingdom now. So I've been there a lot painting. Still, I end up getting a little extreme. I work and get a little overexuberant, a little strident maybe, lately, in my desire to see it as fixed up as we can do--not bossing anyone around, just poking around more than anyone is used to, and trying to find any place where a mold problem can be easily fixed (since reducing its odor was one of my main motivations).
I think our pastor looks a little askance at all this activity and change, though I was hoping it would encourage him. (And I think it has, except when he sees me a little overly absorbed in it.) He preached on Mary and Martha last Sunday. It just occurred to me now, was that a hint? (Surely not...) Still, I don't think anyone in the world has heard me breathe one complaint, one "Why don't you make Mary get up and help me?" No, I haven't. I love every brushstroke, every roller stroke; if "Mary" wants to help, it's great, but I'm having fun on my own. It's so gratifying to see so much change in so little time!
Still, when Pastor came down to help me by getting a dehumidifier out to dry up some moisture I'd left by cleaning a wall, I walked through with him and discussed various issues along the way. I realized I was making him somewhat nervous. He never makes me nervous (probably never makes anyone nervous, at least unless they should have reason to be) and I was sorry to think I'd troubled him. He pointed out later that I should make sure I'm getting my work orders at the feet of Jesus. Another link between Mary, Martha, and me. Mainly, I think, Martha and me. (Sigh.)
So if I've been praying pretty continually regarding all the work, but then getting a little strident as I go, I think something is getting mixed up. Am I dropping His orders and filling my own? Are my motivations wrong? I felt Pastor's nervousness meant I'd been lacking for the right attitude and trampling toes some, though I had been thoroughly enjoying the work; actually getting kind of excited because some plans were becoming actualized and things were going so well. I just have to be careful how I affect others along the way, and that I go in His strength and not my own.
I hope to get a picture of the church as it is (didn't take any before-pictures of the inside) to post, and then post one after it's painted so we can compare before and after shots regarding the outside paint job. It's a great little building, in my mind, though probably just because I associate it with how great it is to be there on Sunday mornings. It's the best! I'd rather we'd keep that little building than have a towering cathedral, if the people inside had to be different too.
I asked Pastor today at church whether I had indeed made him nervous, trampled his toes, so to speak...and he said no, that his main concern was that I was actually getting my orders from Christ. So all is good, and I just imagineth too much. Praise God!
The congregation has been planning to build, but with some frustration over gaining road access to the beautiful property that one couple kindly gave the church. With plans to build, and a small congregation, there hasn't been much interest, energy or money to maintain the building we have, especially since the structure itself will probably be of no value when we sell; only the property. Still, with no particular building timeline in view, I've been praying for vision and clarification, and working on painting the inside, with help from three others, and we're getting a work party together to fix up some of the outside grout so that the outside also can be pressure-washed and painted.
It seems to me that God's hand has been very strongly favorable toward getting these things done. I've had unusual time, energy, and free paint, even in the right neutral, clean and cheery colors--the neighboring city has a program that recycles paint to avoid having it in the dump. Also, we lived in a 1907 fixer-upper house for 17 years where I learned how to research and repair things; I know and understand some of what old buildings are about and what it is to paint. It has occurred to me, to my delight, that God is using that 17 year experience for His Kingdom now. So I've been there a lot painting. Still, I end up getting a little extreme. I work and get a little overexuberant, a little strident maybe, lately, in my desire to see it as fixed up as we can do--not bossing anyone around, just poking around more than anyone is used to, and trying to find any place where a mold problem can be easily fixed (since reducing its odor was one of my main motivations).
I think our pastor looks a little askance at all this activity and change, though I was hoping it would encourage him. (And I think it has, except when he sees me a little overly absorbed in it.) He preached on Mary and Martha last Sunday. It just occurred to me now, was that a hint? (Surely not...) Still, I don't think anyone in the world has heard me breathe one complaint, one "Why don't you make Mary get up and help me?" No, I haven't. I love every brushstroke, every roller stroke; if "Mary" wants to help, it's great, but I'm having fun on my own. It's so gratifying to see so much change in so little time!
Still, when Pastor came down to help me by getting a dehumidifier out to dry up some moisture I'd left by cleaning a wall, I walked through with him and discussed various issues along the way. I realized I was making him somewhat nervous. He never makes me nervous (probably never makes anyone nervous, at least unless they should have reason to be) and I was sorry to think I'd troubled him. He pointed out later that I should make sure I'm getting my work orders at the feet of Jesus. Another link between Mary, Martha, and me. Mainly, I think, Martha and me. (Sigh.)
So if I've been praying pretty continually regarding all the work, but then getting a little strident as I go, I think something is getting mixed up. Am I dropping His orders and filling my own? Are my motivations wrong? I felt Pastor's nervousness meant I'd been lacking for the right attitude and trampling toes some, though I had been thoroughly enjoying the work; actually getting kind of excited because some plans were becoming actualized and things were going so well. I just have to be careful how I affect others along the way, and that I go in His strength and not my own.
I hope to get a picture of the church as it is (didn't take any before-pictures of the inside) to post, and then post one after it's painted so we can compare before and after shots regarding the outside paint job. It's a great little building, in my mind, though probably just because I associate it with how great it is to be there on Sunday mornings. It's the best! I'd rather we'd keep that little building than have a towering cathedral, if the people inside had to be different too.
I asked Pastor today at church whether I had indeed made him nervous, trampled his toes, so to speak...and he said no, that his main concern was that I was actually getting my orders from Christ. So all is good, and I just imagineth too much. Praise God!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The Earth is the Lord's, and all it Contains...
Okay, I've always had a bit of an environmentalist in me. Just enough of one. It comes from always recycling from the time my brother Don started our family on it when I was growing up--he was passionate about it then, and still is.
I've found to my own confusion that there are people I know who just don't see the value in it even today, when not recycling costs more in disposal fees. I think in some cases people are bucking against environmentalists, because of those who take extreme measures and who worship the creation rather than the Creator. But I have always felt that recycling fits just perfectly with the Christian faith. God calls us to be good stewards with what we have--our time, relationships, money, possessions, land...even if the land is not "ours" per say; God has put us here and provided it for us to live our lives. How can a person say that recycling and being energy-efficient doesn't tie in with what God intended? Deuteronomy 8:10 "When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land which He has given you." And, Psalm 24:1-2 "The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters." God has given us the earth as a beautiful creative gift. Taking care of the land He has given us is not the same as worshiping the creation.
Today I found a useful website, Earth 911, that will help find places to dispose of things properly--electronics, paints, batteries, etc. You enter the thing you want to dispose of and your zip code and it shows where it can be done. I recently brought about 20 partial cans of paint I no longer wanted in to a place in Everett, nearby, and got more useful paint to use on current projects. It saved me the disposal costs for the old paint, plus the money it would have cost for the paint that I found would be more useful. That paint-exchange place in Everett is on this website, and a new discovery for me is Staples, which takes electronics and toner cartridges. Some things like computers cost to recycle, and some they actually pay you for, such as the toner cartridges, about $3 each.
I intend to get more organized, continuing to prioritize the things we keep in our (currently overstuffed) garage such as chemicals and electronics, and finding proper homes for those things we don't want. As I do, it will make space available, and as a result, I think it will get easier to establish holding areas for old batteries, for example, until I can bring them to their proper new home where they can be recycled into something that is useful again, rather than ending up in a landfill. It's a little matter of stewardship, and if all of us make little steps of that sort, it will make a big impact in the end.
I've found to my own confusion that there are people I know who just don't see the value in it even today, when not recycling costs more in disposal fees. I think in some cases people are bucking against environmentalists, because of those who take extreme measures and who worship the creation rather than the Creator. But I have always felt that recycling fits just perfectly with the Christian faith. God calls us to be good stewards with what we have--our time, relationships, money, possessions, land...even if the land is not "ours" per say; God has put us here and provided it for us to live our lives. How can a person say that recycling and being energy-efficient doesn't tie in with what God intended? Deuteronomy 8:10 "When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land which He has given you." And, Psalm 24:1-2 "The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters." God has given us the earth as a beautiful creative gift. Taking care of the land He has given us is not the same as worshiping the creation.
Today I found a useful website, Earth 911, that will help find places to dispose of things properly--electronics, paints, batteries, etc. You enter the thing you want to dispose of and your zip code and it shows where it can be done. I recently brought about 20 partial cans of paint I no longer wanted in to a place in Everett, nearby, and got more useful paint to use on current projects. It saved me the disposal costs for the old paint, plus the money it would have cost for the paint that I found would be more useful. That paint-exchange place in Everett is on this website, and a new discovery for me is Staples, which takes electronics and toner cartridges. Some things like computers cost to recycle, and some they actually pay you for, such as the toner cartridges, about $3 each.
I intend to get more organized, continuing to prioritize the things we keep in our (currently overstuffed) garage such as chemicals and electronics, and finding proper homes for those things we don't want. As I do, it will make space available, and as a result, I think it will get easier to establish holding areas for old batteries, for example, until I can bring them to their proper new home where they can be recycled into something that is useful again, rather than ending up in a landfill. It's a little matter of stewardship, and if all of us make little steps of that sort, it will make a big impact in the end.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
God Has Blessed my Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
I try not to take my blessings for granted. Yet, I am blessed beyond what I can regularly realize! One of the best aspects of this is my being a stay-at-home mom. On our cul-de-sac of about 17 houses, I am one of two moms, I think, who continually stay at home with children and who don't work outside the home at all. The other one has tried to open a daycare at her house and not succeeded, and actually I'm not sure that she's at home all the time. I read sometimes about flack that stay-at-home moms get, and have to say that I have rarely received any of that sort of treatment from others.
When Katie was a baby, I remember hoping against hope that I would be able to stay home with her--but I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old, and left her with a lady from our church who did daycare in her house. She usually had ten kids there, and Katie would come home over-stimulated and over-exposed to every bug that came along. She was often sick, and usually irritable and exhausted--and so was I.
One of the women I worked with had two little boys, both in daycare. She earned less than it cost to have them there. I wondered at why she would do that, and she said that the daycare could raise her boys better than she could! That seemed tragic to me even then. Imagine thinking that daycare staff could raise your children better than you can. Most of them have no major qualifications for running a daycare; for that matter, the employees aren't bound to stay employed there any length of time; above all, they can't be expected to love your children as much as you would love them. It reminds me of the boy that used to live next door to us when I was a kid. He was raised more by the maid than by his mother. When the maid died, he grieved over her like a child would his mother, but in contrast he had very little respect for his own mother. He was socially inept and grew up getting in continual trouble with the law, on the premise that his lawyer father would continually bail him out. When I've helped in nurseries at churches, I have usually been able to tell which children are in daycare and which aren't; I see it in our neighborhood as well. The children I've seen who spend their weeks in daycare have a tendency to be more aggressive and less concerned about the other children. I have never seen that there is any optimum substitute for a parent raising a child.
While I was working at Boeing, Gary was trying to get into the sales field; he'd worked in an office for years and was getting nowhere. The sales field wasn't so easy to break into. A food broker would hire him full-time, then reduce him to part-time to avoid having to provide benefits. This happened with three jobs in a row! It didn't look like I would ever be at home with Katie. Gary's earnings were also at pretty much bare minimum to begin with. But I had recently come to accept Jesus as my Savior, and my life was in makeover mode in many ways.
I came home from work one day when Gary was on part-time. He had that day off, but still put Katie in daycare. I would have given my right arm to be at home with her, so it hit me hard that he'd pay to have someone take care of her while he was home. That day it became clear that my working wasn't very beneficial to the family; it was counter-productive. I was starting to add up all the costs of working, and comparing them with my minimal earnings. I figured I was taking home about $65-80 per month after all the expenses were taken out: daycare, gas, car insurance (higher the more you drive), convenience foods, dress clothes, higher tax bracket, office gift obligations...it wasn't the most worthwhile venture for me to be at work. Add to those things the physical strain I was under at the time, being anemic and worn out, constantly coming down with all the bugs Katie brought home; also not having the time to clean house like I would if I were at home (theoretically, at least). Gary needed to be the primary breadwinner, it was obvious. It wasn't the best approach that day, but I remember clearly and calmly telling Gary (not asking him--that would be an issue now) that I was going to give my notice at work. It wasn't because he was earning enough to support us; he wasn't! It was what I consider a leap of faith. I was convinced that God was showing me that I must be at home with Katie. I didn't tell Gary that I would give a three-week notice instead of two so I would get another month of medical coverage. Still, wow. I remember I could hardly wait until the three weeks were over!
I realize that not everyone would consider this the right approach. In some ways it wasn't, but the way I saw it at the time, it appeared to me to be the only thing I could do. The first day of not rising early to go to work, I remember how I felt like an enormous weight had fallen off my shoulders. I remember thinking, "I finally know what I want to be 'when I grow up'--a stay-at-home mom!" There I was with my daughter, not having to rush her through the early morning and pack her in the car to get her to daycare so I could be at work at 7:15.
Katie's attitude completely and suddenly changed from the day I started staying at home. We had dinner with some friends, and they remarked, "What has happened to Katie?!" She was no longer constantly demanding my full attention and raising a ruckus throughout the meal time. And my health started improving as I became more rested. I had just been informed that I had been anemic, and the iron was a great boon to my energy level.
Our finances were not in great shape. We really didn't have a penny to spare; still, it wasn't that different from when I was working. My work had never provided so much that we had spare funds, it just occupied all my time and made a very slight difference in take-home pay. I had moments when I felt a bit guilty, and then when I considered the math, the benefit to being at home was real--and in the other ways as well.
Gary was trying to get into pharmaceutical sales, but I was tired of all of his job changes. He had just changed to another food broker when I got a phone call asking for him; he wasn't home. When I realized it was regarding another job, I just ignored it rather than tell him. I didn't want him changing all over again! The man called back another time when Gary was home. Right over the phone, he offered Gary a job that he had applied for 6 months previously; the other candidate who had gotten the job had gotten fired. The pay and benefits were like we'd never had before. Did I feel foolish! But I was so thankful for God's grace.
Since that time, Gary has had various job changes and times between jobs. At first I worked as an office temp from time to time, but that didn't continue for very long. I've been at home completely for about 20 years now. We have probably had about four years of joblessness, total, scattered in amongst those years, and his salary has gone up and down depending on what job he was working. It has never been an enormous salary, but God has been faithful to us throughout that time. He has taught me to be careful with my spending, and He has been gracious with various creative means of providing for us. We've never been a charity case! I truly believe that most women could stay at home with their children if they were determined to do so, trusting in God as their Provider. If God has provided such for us, He can provide for anybody who will rely on Him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
When Katie was a baby, I remember hoping against hope that I would be able to stay home with her--but I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old, and left her with a lady from our church who did daycare in her house. She usually had ten kids there, and Katie would come home over-stimulated and over-exposed to every bug that came along. She was often sick, and usually irritable and exhausted--and so was I.
One of the women I worked with had two little boys, both in daycare. She earned less than it cost to have them there. I wondered at why she would do that, and she said that the daycare could raise her boys better than she could! That seemed tragic to me even then. Imagine thinking that daycare staff could raise your children better than you can. Most of them have no major qualifications for running a daycare; for that matter, the employees aren't bound to stay employed there any length of time; above all, they can't be expected to love your children as much as you would love them. It reminds me of the boy that used to live next door to us when I was a kid. He was raised more by the maid than by his mother. When the maid died, he grieved over her like a child would his mother, but in contrast he had very little respect for his own mother. He was socially inept and grew up getting in continual trouble with the law, on the premise that his lawyer father would continually bail him out. When I've helped in nurseries at churches, I have usually been able to tell which children are in daycare and which aren't; I see it in our neighborhood as well. The children I've seen who spend their weeks in daycare have a tendency to be more aggressive and less concerned about the other children. I have never seen that there is any optimum substitute for a parent raising a child.
While I was working at Boeing, Gary was trying to get into the sales field; he'd worked in an office for years and was getting nowhere. The sales field wasn't so easy to break into. A food broker would hire him full-time, then reduce him to part-time to avoid having to provide benefits. This happened with three jobs in a row! It didn't look like I would ever be at home with Katie. Gary's earnings were also at pretty much bare minimum to begin with. But I had recently come to accept Jesus as my Savior, and my life was in makeover mode in many ways.
I came home from work one day when Gary was on part-time. He had that day off, but still put Katie in daycare. I would have given my right arm to be at home with her, so it hit me hard that he'd pay to have someone take care of her while he was home. That day it became clear that my working wasn't very beneficial to the family; it was counter-productive. I was starting to add up all the costs of working, and comparing them with my minimal earnings. I figured I was taking home about $65-80 per month after all the expenses were taken out: daycare, gas, car insurance (higher the more you drive), convenience foods, dress clothes, higher tax bracket, office gift obligations...it wasn't the most worthwhile venture for me to be at work. Add to those things the physical strain I was under at the time, being anemic and worn out, constantly coming down with all the bugs Katie brought home; also not having the time to clean house like I would if I were at home (theoretically, at least). Gary needed to be the primary breadwinner, it was obvious. It wasn't the best approach that day, but I remember clearly and calmly telling Gary (not asking him--that would be an issue now) that I was going to give my notice at work. It wasn't because he was earning enough to support us; he wasn't! It was what I consider a leap of faith. I was convinced that God was showing me that I must be at home with Katie. I didn't tell Gary that I would give a three-week notice instead of two so I would get another month of medical coverage. Still, wow. I remember I could hardly wait until the three weeks were over!
I realize that not everyone would consider this the right approach. In some ways it wasn't, but the way I saw it at the time, it appeared to me to be the only thing I could do. The first day of not rising early to go to work, I remember how I felt like an enormous weight had fallen off my shoulders. I remember thinking, "I finally know what I want to be 'when I grow up'--a stay-at-home mom!" There I was with my daughter, not having to rush her through the early morning and pack her in the car to get her to daycare so I could be at work at 7:15.
Katie's attitude completely and suddenly changed from the day I started staying at home. We had dinner with some friends, and they remarked, "What has happened to Katie?!" She was no longer constantly demanding my full attention and raising a ruckus throughout the meal time. And my health started improving as I became more rested. I had just been informed that I had been anemic, and the iron was a great boon to my energy level.
Our finances were not in great shape. We really didn't have a penny to spare; still, it wasn't that different from when I was working. My work had never provided so much that we had spare funds, it just occupied all my time and made a very slight difference in take-home pay. I had moments when I felt a bit guilty, and then when I considered the math, the benefit to being at home was real--and in the other ways as well.
Gary was trying to get into pharmaceutical sales, but I was tired of all of his job changes. He had just changed to another food broker when I got a phone call asking for him; he wasn't home. When I realized it was regarding another job, I just ignored it rather than tell him. I didn't want him changing all over again! The man called back another time when Gary was home. Right over the phone, he offered Gary a job that he had applied for 6 months previously; the other candidate who had gotten the job had gotten fired. The pay and benefits were like we'd never had before. Did I feel foolish! But I was so thankful for God's grace.
Since that time, Gary has had various job changes and times between jobs. At first I worked as an office temp from time to time, but that didn't continue for very long. I've been at home completely for about 20 years now. We have probably had about four years of joblessness, total, scattered in amongst those years, and his salary has gone up and down depending on what job he was working. It has never been an enormous salary, but God has been faithful to us throughout that time. He has taught me to be careful with my spending, and He has been gracious with various creative means of providing for us. We've never been a charity case! I truly believe that most women could stay at home with their children if they were determined to do so, trusting in God as their Provider. If God has provided such for us, He can provide for anybody who will rely on Him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
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