She's Back Home; Now What?

Katie came home from college and got rested up for the first couple of weeks, applying for jobs and doing various little things adjusting back to life in Washington. Then she went down to California for a wedding, and I think she got a little shot of the peer-life that she's been enjoying in the college realm. On the way home from the airport, she started saying how quickly she connected not only at the wedding, but that Sunday with the congregation at the church down there (even her friend remarked on how quickly she connected with people there); and she described how lonely she is up here. Aaagh.
I understand how great it must be to be a young woman in a college environment; all the more for a girl who was homeschooled and dealt with some degree of loneliness or isolation much of the time growing up. A Christian college dorm can't help being an "in the salt-shaker" kind of habitat. She's made lots of Christian friends, all varying levels and varieties of wonderful. I know to an extent what that is like when I go to church, experiencing it maybe for a few hours, or maybe off at a women's retreat, but to live in it, I have just never experienced it--never knew to miss it! Never stayed in a dorm; the only time I shared an apartment with a girl friend, neither of us were Christians, and actually it didn't work out that well. Still, when I come home from a women's retreat, I'm actually relieved to get back to life as usual, back to the regular routine; the ongoing excitement of dorm life would probably kill me!
We changed churches a few months before Katie left for college, and between that change and then changing to a church near her college, then back again to our new church, it's short-circuited her connecting with either congregation all that well. That disconnect creates all the more adjustment back to everyday home life. We're just the same 3 other family members every morning, and no doubt we are so much different in our level of energy or affirmation or activity than what she's used to at college.
So I see what used to be our adult-oriented daughter becoming so much more peer-oriented. I would have balked at that during the years that we were homeschooling, for family strength and character-building reasons. Now, though, it's not entirely unhealthy. It's time for her to stretch her wings and start flying into her own world a bit, from the safety of her home environment. The peer influence in elementary to high-school years has a way of causing more of an emotional separation from parents that is premature, undermining authority and bringing the children to strive for an independence for which they aren't prepared, but she's 20 now, and those priorities have changed in importance, and will all the more as she ventures further into adulthood.
Still, the fact that she so struggles when she leaves the peer life and comes home to us is disheartening a bit, when we're not used to feeling so inadequate for her perceived needs. She's hooked on a level of social interaction that there's no way that we can provide or imitate; it's a sensory deprivation that is a relief during the short visits on holidays; but for the summer months, that relief turns into feelings of boredom and isolation. I know when she gets a job, that will help, but in the meantime, it's a struggle.
Knowing what she's experiencing now, would I regret her having gone and returning with this disenchantment? Never. I don't exactly know what to do with her now that she's home, but I'm glad she's gained the friends she has, the new perspective, the confidence, the input of someone other than her old mother...even if her impression of home life has become a bit faded and dull. When she needs the safety and support, we're here; when she doesn't so much, she's free to explore the many great possibilities that will be opening up to her. Maybe if being at home doesn't fully suit her, she'll be working harder to achieve her independence, and maybe that will be a healthy thing.

I Love my MP3! Join me in my Discoveries!

Lately I've made a neat discovery. Well, it's a discovery I was intending to make, to tell the truth. It's thanks to my mp3 player again. The main reason I asked for it at Christmas was so that I could listen to sermons, and so I've downloaded from oneplace.com, from sermonaudio.com, and from the chapel sermons from my daughter's Christian college. (She selectively told me who her favorite speakers were, and so I'm not saving the best for last!) I recommend this, it's a great way to fill in the quiet times--though I'm hardly saying all quiet times need filling in, but having a certain amount of favorable instruction instead keeps my mind on better track than if at times all that goes on in my head is my random thought process.
The neat thing is that you can choose according to speakers whose names you know; you can investigate other speakers (and as a result check out your discernment skills); you can choose sermon subjects that you feel are an appropriate focus for whatever you're facing in life, for whatever spiritual weakness you might see in yourself...it's just a great way to go and I highly recommend it.
I've found a few that I think are phenomenal. These aren't speakers who I was acquainted with previously (except one). Also, note that some of them have Irish and Scottish accents, which I find charming and strong to listen to; also a charming Chinese accent of one of the professors who my daughter says is highly considered. I intend to add to this list as I find more, Lord willing. Check out the following:

Do You Love Me?
This is the best explanation I've ever heard regarding Jesus and Peter, the "Feed My Sheep" discussion. He makes a number of great points in this sermon.
Pastor Joseph LoSardo, Bread of Life Fellowship
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=790753618

Dangerous Self-Talk and its Consequences (excellent!)
David Dykstra is the pastor of the Reformed Baptist Church of Lafayette in Lafayette, New Jersey
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=2100318351

The Path to Burnout
Tom Chesko, Shalom Outreach Ministries
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=46081345346

Barnabas, the Ministry of Encouragement
Denis Lyle, Denis Lyle Ministries
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=1280755150

The Antidote to Affliction
Dr. Frank McClelland
http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=32303201722

Elijah’s Furnace of Affliction
Philip DeCourcy
Chapel at TMC
http://www.masters.edu/podcast/chapel/chapel.xml
(most of the way down the webpage)

Running the Race of Faith (excellent! and we know this speaker from our previous church!)
Micah Lugg
Chapel at TMC
http://www.masters.edu/podcast/chapel/chapel.xml
(at this writing, 2 items down the webpage)

Pray without Ceasing (this one is phenomenal and thorough!)
Dr. Daniel Wong
Chapel at TMC
http://www.masters.edu/podcast/chapel/chapel.xml
(about ¾ of the way down the webpage)

Now don't try to figure out what is going on in my life from the titles of these sermons, because you'll find yourself completely misled. Still, I recommend these and you might consider either downloading them to an mp3 player yourself, or playing them on your computer at high volume so you can sit back (or do dishes) and listen to them.