I thought it might be helpful to present a few ways to identify whether or not you have a Red Robin server living at your house. We have concluded that we do. Here's how you can tell:
1. The laundry smells like hamburger grease and is fraught with long black apron strings and an occasional glimpse of a Red Robin logo.
2. The server has no desire to go anywhere noisy after work, but needs a couple of hours to mellow out before she goes to bed.
3. The entry way is covered with greasy shoe prints.
4. The server talks in her sleep, "You want another order of fries?" or "Can I bring you a refill of freckled lemonade?" or singing, "I don't know, but I've been told, someone here is gettin' old..."
5. You get panicked phone calls, asking whether the server is there, because they need her stat to fill in for someone.
6. When she gets off work and goes to the grocery store on the way home, she greets other customers with an over-enthusiastic "Hi, I'll be your server, my name is..." and trails off when she realizes the truth of where she is.
7. When the family sits down at the table, the server forgets to sit down, stands hovering nearby, and tries to dip into pockets of her short black apron, though she's not wearing one.
8. You find occasional Red Robin coasters on the kitchen counter.
9. There's a lack of pens and note pads in the house.
10. There's no demand for hamburgers, french fries, or onion rings at dinner; the farther from ground beef, the better.
11. When someone sings the actual "Happy Birthday" song at home, rather than the Red Robin variations, a confused look comes over the server's face.
If you see these symptoms around your house, consider the possibility that you indeed have a Red Robin server in your midst. Don't worry about it, there are benefits: Their pay is good; they learn to multitask; and they know how to serve others, and how to celebrate. And they have the Red Robin menu memorized.